Limping Towards Surgery ~ Part II, Are We Married Here? Are We Married Here?
As we all know, history was made yesterday when the Supreme Court struck down section 3 of DOMA ~ the section which was specifically designed to keep the federal government from ever recognizing those yucky, immoral, dirty, non-sacred gay relationships. I laughed. I cried. I celebrated. It was a huge day ~ a huge step towards full LGBT equality. But as the sun rose this morning, the overwhelming emotion of becoming an almost full citizen of this country began to dissipate and reality set in. Yes, it was a HUGE step, but ultimately, it was just a step. There are a lot more steps that need to be taken.
As I watched DOMA become an embarrassing chapter in American history, I told Rick that before I go under the knife this summer I want to get married. I want us to be protected should something happen to me. Of course, due to Governor Christie’s veto of marriage equality back in 2012, we can’t get married in New Jersey, the state in which we currently reside. We will have to run to New York because LGBT people are more equal in 10012 than they are in 07079. Makes sense, no?
But this brings up a whole slew of legal questions. Questions which no one seems to be able to answer. For example, if we’re married in New York but we don’t live in New York is our marriage recognized by the federal government? Does the location of my surgery matter ~ am I better off doing it in New York than in New Jersey? Will Rick be able to make decisions for me should I not be able to make them for myself? Basically, will getting married in New York protect us or will Rick have to depend on the kindness of strangers and hope that whoever is working at the hospital that day is “on our side” and recognizes our Civil Union? And what about estate tax, should that become a question? Or is getting married in New York just a complete waste of time altogether?
Who knew being gay would be so confusing? All this mishegas just to “preserve a sacred institution” that straight people treat like a cheap hooker. I can fly to Vegas right now, marry a woman I don’t know while piss drunk and be relatively confident that if she were by my side during my surgery none of these questions would even be an issue. That, it appears, would be absolutely fine with Governor Christie. Does that make sense? Does that make sense to anyone at all?
Such is the reality of living in a country where marriage equality is like cell service. You have a strong signal one second and then Bam! ~ nothing ~ a 37 state dead zone. Y’all, it’s time to start building more towers!
