So today, I give you my thanks. I know it sounds cheap, but hear me out. As I get older, and as I steep further and further in my own marriage, I find myself more and more thankful to you for showing me what a marriage is. And, perhaps more importantly, what it isn’t. You taught me, I suspect inadvertently, what it is to be in an intimate relationship for the long haul. That there is no such thing as perfect. That it is simply impossible to be so close to another human being without hurt, challenge, without some pain. You taught me that successful marriage is work. A lot of work. And you taught me that it is all worth it. You taught me that love is worth the fight and the occasional struggle. And sometimes the more than occasional struggle. You taught me that the tests can bring us closer, if we let them.

I sit here, crying as I type, because just a few weeks shy of my own 14th anniversary (paltry in comparison!), I’m overwhelmed with love for my husband, in a way that I wasn’t when we met, in a way that I wasn’t even a year ago. Or maybe even yesterday. In a way that I truly could not have imagined. And I look forward to what we will be in a year ~ 10 ~ 20. We’ve been through some stuff. I have no doubt that we will go through more. I have no doubt that we will continue to laugh and cry with one another, grow with one another, annoy one another, occasionally butt heads with one another, and hopefully, far less occasionally, hurt one another. Because of you, I know what all of that is. I expect it. I recognize it as part of the package. I know how to deal with it.

I always wanted to get married ~ to be married. Because I always wanted what you have. Turns out, I don’t. I don’t have what you have. I can’t. Only you can have that. But I have patterned my marriage after yours. The most central relationship in my life is built on the foundation that you taught me to build. There were no sit-down chats, no lectures. There was just you being you, in your marriage. Imperfect, loving, challenging, passionate and spectacularly beautiful. This lesson was simply experienced, witnessed. Witnessing your love, I learned how to love my husband. I thank you for teaching me how to love my husband. That is the greatest lesson of my life.

So today, June 12th, on your 49th wedding anniversary, I give you the gift of my thanks. Perhaps it’s not much, but when I look at Rick, it is everything.