Below is my most recent piece for VillageQ.
A few years ago at Pride, an eldergay, upon hearing that I was living with my husband of 13 years (then) and was doing everything in my power to secure the right of every LGBT American to marry the person they love, looked me up and down and said, “Oh, you’re an assimilation queen.” He did not approve. He did not believe that the battles he fought so hard in the 70s and 80s should have led our people to the altar – the purest, most undiluted symbol of banality. As far as he was concerned, gay people had not been excluded from, as much as freed from the asphyxiation of a white picket fence…
Today, June 12th, 2014, you celebrate your 49th wedding anniversary.
I googled traditional wedding gifts and found nothing. It seems that when you get to 49, all eyes focus on the next one, thus dulling the achievement of 49 and treating 50 as if it were a foregone conclusion. So I started thinking, what can I get you that will be meaningful, worthy of 49 years ~ roughly 17,885 days, 429,240 hours, 25,744,400 minutes, 1,545,264,000 seconds ~ roughly, if I did my math right, which I very well may not have ~ but still remain affordable? What indeed??? You just went on vacation. You have more than enough dishes. You have 14,000 sets of mostly complete silver, some of which you can’t really account for your possession of, that you never use. Any [continue reading...]
Dear Amy Kushnir, Duck Dynasty cretins, Benham brothers, Adam Carolla, and every other human being who has ever squealed about their First Amendment rights being taken or lamented the rise of the Gaystapo, the Gay Mafia, or the Gay Thought Police or who has worried about the rise of “gaytheism.” (Personally, I love “gaytheism” and intend to use it to describe my own personal religious views.)
This letter goes out to all of you ~
The reason you’re angry is quite simple, and understandable really. In a sense, I feel bad for you, because your world has changed so radically, shifted so quickly, so thoroughly, that you don’t know which end is up.
The shift I’m referring to is that your LGBT bigotry is no longer a monologue. When you speak, when you spew your bile, we are no [continue reading...]
Linda Harvey, founder of the website and LGBT bullying primer Mission: America has a book out (that even Amazon won’t carry) which claims that gay people are closeted heterosexuals. Yes, her rather extreme form of GDS presents as the belief that gay people simply don’t exist. “The reality is, no one is a homosexual and everyone is a heterosexual.” I would like to state for the record that I personally am a card carrying, power bottoming, Pride marching, gym and body obsessing, one-time suicide contemplating, occasional body hair clipping, Beyoncé lip synching, overpriced underwear buying, obscure musical theatre referencing, Karen Walker quoting, interested in professional sports only if there’s a hot guy wearing tight pants watching, Barbra Streisand worshiping, man marrying, Oscar dress snarking, cock sucking homosexual queer queen [continue reading...]
Juan Pablo, “star” of ABC’s The Bachelor, was recently asked whether he thought a dating reality show featuring a gay or bisexual bachelor was a good idea.
“No…I respect [gay people]…” (You know there’s a but coming, right?) “…but…” (Uh-oh.) “…honestly, I don’t think it’s a good example for kids.” (As I pointed out in an earlier post, one of most common symptoms of GDS is the stripping of words from their meaning. JP respects gay people, he just doesn’t want children exposed to our filthy lives.) “Now there is fathers having kids and all that, and it is hard for me to understand…” (I feel that a lot of things are hard for JP [continue reading...]
Another person has been claimed by a powerful disease. Trestin Meacham has succumbed to Gay Derangement Syndrome. Sadly, he is not alone. Trestin is just one of many documented cases of people having been driven to absolute insanity by the idea that gay people exist. Indeed, he has lost his mind.
You may recall Trestin, if not by name then from the two week hunger strike he went on in the hopes of stopping gay Utah couples from marrying. When the Supreme Court ordered a stay on Utah’s same-sex marriages while the case was under appeal, he started eating again. Beginner. It is unclear at this time if he believes his efforts helped to bring about the stay. Frankly, I wasn’t all that impressed. What he called a hunger strike I used to call getting ready for Broadway Bares. [continue reading...]
There are a few things that have been going on over here in Jersey during the Christie years that have driven me absolutely insane. Actually, they’re not going on over here in Jersey, they’re going on in the media’s blind spot to my governor.
The other day I watched Governor Christie at his lengthy press conference. In the interest of full disclosure, I must admit that I didn’t make it through the entire thing. Nearly two hours of watching someone explain why they deserve to be first person on the Titanic’s dinghies is a long time. We got it. You didn’t know. You just heard. You were working out. (Not for nothin’, am I the only person who thought that remark was a particularly overworked piece of political theatre ~ wedged in there like a nun at [continue reading...]
Well, kind of. I mean it’s accurate, but incomplete. As the Christie administration recently discovered, there’s another adage that only the remarkably arrogant or unbearably stupid ever forget: Never put anything in writing! I’m guessing the people involved in the George Washington Bridge scandal ~ a bridge named, ironically, after a man who could not tell a lie ~ are both.
But I’m not one to judge. Listen, lying in the Posting Modern Age is hard. Harder, in fact, than it has ever been in the history of humankind. Harder than it’s been since man first stood erect. Harder than it’s been since man first got erect. And I think we can all agree that erections are the leading cause of lies.
Take a [continue reading...]
I agree with you on many of the points you made in your Washington Post piece about Aaron Schock and I applaud you for reaching out to anyone with actual information that could turn his history of pro-bigotry voting into a history of hypocrisy.
But can you do me a favor? Can you please not refer to coming out as “an intensely personal journey that involves stages of self-discovery and self-acceptance” as if it is an inherent part of being gay? It is not. The journey you refer to is about the shedding of shame. And we are not born with shame, we are taught it.
If we are going to talk about that journey, however, then we need to discuss its origins. It is rooted in anti-LGBT votes like the ones Rep. Aaron Shock has [continue reading...]
Applying for jobs online is like dropping a penny down an infinite well ~ you wait and wait for a plop that likely never comes.
You attach your resume, write a cover letter highlighting exactly where your skills and experience intersect with the requirements for that particular position, fill out any fields that weren’t auto-populated, make sure to use appropriate keywords, check for typos, double-check for typos, step away from the computer for twenty minutes, and finally reread everything backwards to triple-check for typos. You take a deep breath. You hit send. A decision that can never be undecided. And that application disappears. Into the ether. Never to be seen or heard from again. Plop???
Where do these applications go? It’s a question for the ages. I must admit that lately, spurred on by the feeling that they aren’t going anywhere, I have begun to tell the truth. Why not? What do [continue reading...]