What Happens When All the LGBT Hate Jobs Dry Up?

I have a confession to make.  I’m worried.  So worried that I didn’t sleep last night.  I tossed and turned, so concerned I am for Brian Brown of the National Organization for Marriage, Maggie Gallagher of the Institute for Marriage and Public Policy, Peter LaBarbera of Americans for Truth About Homosexuality ~ in fact, all of the leaders of the last-gasp LGBT hate lobby.  I’m worried that they have cast their lot with a dying breed and will soon cause the unemployment numbers to tick ever so slightly up.  Yes, I’m worried that their days as professional homo-haters are numbered.

The problem here is two-fold:  1.  In the short term, they keep losing, which just can’t make their bosses happy.  It begs the question ~ How good are they at their jobs?  And 2.  In the long term, I have to wonder if their customer base is simply drying up.  I have to wonder if wholesale hatred of the LGBT community is still a good business model.

Of course I know there is still prejudice in the world.  I’m certainly not naive or romantic enough to think homophobia has passed from today’s front-page reality to yesterday’s national embarrassment.  But it does appear that the tide has turned and that the public’s appetite for LGBT bigotry is waning.  Denying gay people rights based solely on their orientation is not quite the commodity ~ not quite the quick and easy political bullseye it used to be.  Witness the historic election night wins in all four states where the public voted on LGBT equality (MD, ME, WA & MN), not to mention the election of the country’s first openly gay senator.  Witness Mitt Romney ~ whose public, and probably private view of homosexuality is disturbing at best ~ who never once went head to head with Obama over Obama’s support of full marriage equality.  Mitt failed to make bigotry the centerpiece, or even much of a dog whistle, in his campaign.  He never brought it up in any of the debates and, to my knowledge, in any commercials.  My, my!  This is a far cry from George W, who just eight short years ago ran a re-election campaign based solely on the notion that the mere thought of allowing any two American men within six inches of each other would produce enough fear to propel disaffected voters to the polls in numbers great enough to ensure him a second term.  He was right.  Oh yes, the times they are a’changin’.

And because they are a’changin’, I’m worried that the world of pro-hate is shrinking and that the market will simply not be able to sustain the salaries and personnel it has in the past.  I mean, sure, we’ll always be able to find work for some of our most colorful crazies and loons.  For example, Victoria Jackson has hit her stride online with her peculiar brand of Dumb Blond which appears to have been created at the corner of Paris Hilton and Anita Bryant.  And then there’s Michele Bachmann, Patron Saint of the Functioning Wacko as well as someone with firsthand knowledge of a gay man/straight woman marriage (of course, that’s a big assumption, that she’s straight), has found her footing, repeatedly, in the United States House of Representatives.  Do her constituents view her as their own personal branch of The Real Housewives franchise?  RHOMN?  But I digress…

These slots are shrinking.  And Fox News can only give so many washed up politicians, lobbyists and political operatives their own talk shows.

So I ask you, what becomes of the Brians, the Maggies, the Peters?  Such a specific skill set.  What exactly is on their resumes?

•Bullshit salesman/woman?

•Bigot for hire?

•Fear peddler with a background in mean-spiritedness?

•Particularly adept in lacking honesty and shame?

•Expert fanner of the flames of violence?

•Accomplished marginalizer of whole swaths of society?

•Excellent communication ~ and excommunication ~ skills?

•Refined ability ignore facts, science and the entire psychiatric community?

•Ability to manipulate preexisting misconceptions to affect voter turnout?

Is it me, or does this seem limiting?  How does one translate these particular skills into other fields, exactly?  Sure, I guess they could all find work hating other groups, but they’re going to keep running into the same roadblock again and again.  Hate is in decline.  Employing fewer and fewer people, the business of subjugation will soon go the way of the bowling alley pinsetter or the lamplighter.

Sad, but true.  And what’s a hate monger to do?  Perhaps we’ll find out soon.

And one last thing ~ a shout out to Barack Obama, two-term President of the United States of America ~

Thank you, President Obama, for helping America to lose a few jobs.  I think it’s time to ship these overseas.  If you’re unclear how to go about doing this, please bring it up with Governor Romney your meeting.  I’m sure he can advise you.

Thanks.

~Roger I Rosen