Mazel tov on coming out! I am a firm believer in the fact that coming out of the closet is the single most powerful thing we can do to end the prejudice, violence and inequality that the LGBT community faces. And when we happen to be in the public eye, coming out, publicly, is all the more important. Congratulations, and thank you.
What a wonderful and brave decision you made to come out of the closet regarding your illness. To show it, in detail and unvarnished. You clearly thought it was important to tell this very human, very vulnerable, frightening and painful story. You allowed yourself to be seen in the grips of something eating away at your body, ravaging it. You showed us the war you waged to bring it back to health. The images I saw felt almost too intimate. You did it, I’m guessing, to inspire others, to connect. And you did, beautifully.
Yet, even as you beamed these images of yourself into our homes, it was somehow one step too far to show the woman who was caring for you and loving you during that fight. Frankly, I’m disappointed. I think it was a golden opportunity to show that our relationships are no different. Our care-taking, no different. Our love, no different. That we are the same. And I think it sends a sad message that you didn’t. That while you allowed yourself to be shown in such a vulnerable state, it was somehow one step too far to show the woman by your side.
I don’t know who made the decision ~ perhaps you, perhaps your girlfriend, perhaps ABC. But considering that you showed that one of the most powerful ways to fight devastating illness is with the love and support of family, yet your anchor, your love was never shown, never mentioned, it seems clear that somewhere along the line your orientation was considered and a decision was made.
Your coming out was so easy and lovely. You simply mention the woman who’s been by your side for ten years. What a missed opportunity to have just as simply mentioned her while you were in the throes of your illness. What a missed opportunity to show that a couple is a couple is a couple.
I applaud your coming out, as I applaud every coming out. Here’s hoping that the future brings with it an ease that all of us may mention and share the entirety of our stories without thought and without consideration.
Wishing you and Amber and your family a wonderful 2014. May it bring us all peace and health.